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Brian Armstrong Announces That Coinbase Will Drink the Blood of Its Enemies

SAN FRANCISCO — There was a bit of drama at a recent Coinbase shareholder meeting after Brian Armstrong, apropos of nothing, leapt onto the table and...

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PREMIUM — Amazon Is Giving Away Legendary Gaming NFTs—A Plea for Luna+ Subscriptions

SEATTLE — The NFT gaming space is heating up, and in a move that surprised at least tens of people, Amazon has embarked on a new venture that melds t...

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ETF Approved on Condition That Larry Fink Follows Gary Gensler on TikTok

WASHINGTON —The BlackRock Bitcoin ETF was approved this Wednesday, but there were conditions, according to sources close to the SEC. Larry Fink, CEO ...

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A Single Day Goes By With Nothing Major Happening in Crypto

EVERYWHERE — It actually happened — there was actually a full 24-fucking-hour period where nothing major happened in crypto. No exchanges halted with...

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NEWSLETTER — Mom Confused About WrappedETH Being the Perfect Stocking Stuffer

Clocking in the end of 2023 and what a year it has been! Bitcoin is up ~150% year over year, Ethereum ~90% and Charles Hoskinson is just upset nobody has noticed how much he's stolen yet. A game of many blockchains is emerging and hipsters are moving off Solana to seek a cooler lesser known L1.

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Musk Explains Zero Knowledge Proof Means Requiring No Facts

Posting to the near-bankrupt ‘X’ platform he bought and still has no idea how to manage, CEO Elon Musk clarified a little-understood term. “‘Zero knowledge’ or ‘zK’ is pretty simple,” Musk began, “It means...

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Ledger Introduces "Ledger Friends"

PARIS — Ledger announces the launch of Ledger Friends—a brand new product that allows users to send their seed phrase to their two best friends.

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Game Boy Crypto Wallet Paused as Team Pivots to Playing Actual Video Games

CARTRIDGE COVE — In an unexpected turn of events, crypto startup Keyp’s much-anticipated “Game Wallet”—which planned to gamify the crypto hardware wa...

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Smart Money Already Rotating Into Xmas Shitcoins

LONDON — This November, a new buzz has emerged as astute investors are diverting their attention to an unexpected sector: Christmas shitcoins.

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PREMIUM — Jack Dorsey on Web 5: “Never Mind”

Jack Dorsey, renowned tech entrepreneur and former CEO of X (Twitter), has officially called it quits on his much-hyped project, "Web5." The enigmatic venture had been shrouded in secrecy, sparking curiosity and speculation within the tech community.

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